Am I to dreary lately? Sometimes life seems that way, you can find no good. Other days you are feeling blessed beyond measure and you feel ready to tackle anything that comes your way.
I get e-mail updates on a friends cancer progress. The friends I told you about a while back, my hubby's customers... Today I just broke down crying after I read it. The pain and nausea and just everything that is "cancer", that he is going through. I am wondering why? Why do these things happen? And I am helpless to make anyones life better who has it. Besides prayer of course.
Last week my husband got a call saying his cousin had died. She was only 44, she had cancer. A few days later he got another call saying his good friend had died. Just bent over and died. He was 45.
I know countless people who have cancer, had cancer, their loved ones died of cancer, they had precancerous cells removed....
And then the obsessing begins, ok... how to NOT get cancer. What do I NOT eat to prevent cancer, what do I eat TO prevent cancer. Then the fear sets in, then I get to..... alright fear is not from God.
Eventually I arrive at...Lord your will be done, in my life whatever it is, just don't make it be cancer. And after all that, I end up saying ok Lord I trust you even if it is cancer. And then I add, just let me raise my kids then you can do whatever you'd like.
I am not afraid to die. My big fear is if I died now, who would make sure my kids follow Jesus? Who would pray for them and guide them and remind them how great our God is?
I actually envision myself being excited when I am at deaths door. I will get to see my mom again, best of all I'll get to see Jesus.
I am so thankful to have that blessed hope. Do you have it? Believe God sent his son Jesus to die for your sins and rose from the dead three days later, and it's yours!
Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
1John 5:11-12 And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
I'm so sorry to hear about the illnesses and losses. It's so sad when we lose someone whether we expect it or not. And to suffer through cancer..I wouldn't wish that on anyone, based on what I've witnessed first hand.
ReplyDeleteI am not afraid to die. In fact, some days I just toss my hands in the air and say "ready when You are, Lord". I'm with you on the kids. God gave our kids a mom and dad for a reason.
I think all we can do is treasure each day and hope that we know how fleeting each moment is.
Hope you got the recipe I mailed you :)
XO,
Erin
I feel the same exact way about death. I'm not at all afraid of it. I just know how hard it is to not have your mom around and I was 28 when my mom died. I just would never want that to happen to my girls. It makes me realize I should take better care of myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the losses that have happened and those who are going through cancer. My best friend's mom just got done with her chemo for breast cancer. It's everywhere and the enemy would love nothing more than for us to quit living life because we fear these things. I have to remind myself every day to trust that God will take care of everything and not give in to those fearful thoughts.
...Kristin has said it all...the enemy wants us to fear...but....God is in control.......hard somedays to have the peace we need...but always we go to GOD!
ReplyDeleteOh Prudy honey, I could have written every word.I have walked the cancer road with my younger sister for over 12 years now. She is only 49 and has been through more than anyone would believe humanly possible. It disgusts me most days. Scares me to death other days.
ReplyDeleteIt's about control, I believe. We so deperately want to believe we have some semblance of control over our lives when the truth is, we don't. The great news is, we can completely trust The One who does have the ultimate control over everything.