Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Move~part 4

Where were we?  Here is part 1 and part 2 and part 3.............
I left you with this post and said more on that later.  So in September of 2010, I was asking myself, Lord, is that you?  Oh how I wish God would audibly answer those questions, but he does not.  So I was forced to just trust and "go with it".  I should say we, because hubby was in this too. 

When we moved to Oregon from Minnesota I could not have been happier, I had always wanted to go on a big adventure like that and move out of state.  Well it was truly an adventure, I had severe culture shock arriving in Eugene.  But we really grew to love this place, so much so that I began declaring over the years that I would NEVER leave Oregon, not for ANY reason whatsoever, not even if something terrible happened to my husband and I was left out here all alone......NEVER EVER would I leave such a beautiful place!  I am a little over an hour from the coast and the dunes, two things which are my world favorite's!  The mountains here, which they call hills, are just a wonder to see everyday.
Not to mention, we left behind us: freezing winters, misquitos, gnats, tornadoes, humidity, boring flatlands, Minnesota accents.  Well I don't realize I still have that last one, but everyone still says to me, you must be from the midwest....
So imagine my suprise and shock and horror when in late 2008 or maybe 2009, I began hearing things.  I began to have this super tiny, quiet, still small voice in my mind saying.  minnesota   I would just brush it off and not think twice, cuz honey this girl ain't EVER going back there!  Oregon is it.  And a month or so would go by and I would think.............what would it be like to go back to minnesota  I just could not figure out what was wrong with me, thinking these things.  Because I would literally feel devastated even thinking about having to go back there.  That is how much we both love this place. 
Hubby and I would say to each other,  do you think we will ever go back to Minnesota?  And we were both so adamant that, NO, NOT EVER, NEVER will that happen!!!!  We PROMISED each other we would always stay in Oregon.

***disclaimer**** to my family... Of course I missed you all terribly, my heart would ache that I could not go shopping or to lunch with my sister and that my kids could not go to grandpa's house for a visit, and not to forget my best friend, I missed her so very much. 

So I never said a word to hubby about these whispers because I knew they were just passing thoughts and nothing more.    I wonder if God will ever send us back to minnesota someday?  Nope, I knew that answer right away.  Even in September of 2010 after I got back from The Creative Connection Event in Minneapolis, I said to hubby, ugh, yuck, I do not want to go back.  This was after hubby and I had "THE CONVERSATION" that opened the floodgates and we both knew the second the words were said, that we had crossed a line.........more on that in part 5.  I was in such    minnesota   denial.
All during 2009 and 2010  the events of my other posts, begin to happen and I am not linking anything together in my mind at that point, because I am not giving those tiny thoughts any time of day, because it's not what I want. 
But a real turning point for me, was the Lord, is that you? post.  It altered the way I think, to say the least and slowly everything started to make sense.....only STARTED to.  I do not understand God or his ways.

There has to be a part 5 because, hubby and I, well we thought this was all going to go rather smoothly and easily.  I mean don't things go smoothly when your in God's will?  Or you THINK your in God's will .....right??  Were the whispers of    hawaii   the ones I was supposed to be listening too?

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