Sunday, January 20, 2013
Today I have been married for 20 years. I do not have a lot of photo's from our "wedding" because we went to the courthouse one day and got married. In this old photo (1994), we had been married for 14 months. The boys are 3 and 3 months. This was my first trip to Hawaii to see his family. You never think you'll reach the day when you look at old photos and say..."Wow, look how young we look!" and "Boy we sure were skinny!".
All the changes! Now our family vacations are only with the girls because our boys are out on their own! It is truly bittersweet.
What is love? The one thing I've learned over 20 years is that love is a choice, not a feeling. An even better description is a conversation from my favorite old movie, the original Yours, Mine and Ours with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda (1968). One of the teenage daughters was upset that her boyfriend Larry kept pressuring her to "go farther". She is asking her father for advice. This is what Frank Beardsley says to her as he is helping his pregnant wife get to the hospital to give birth:
~I've got a message for Larry, you tell him this is what it's all about, this is the real happening. You want to know what love really is? Take a look around you, take a good look at your mother, it's giving life that counts. Until your ready for it all the rest of life is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won't keep it turning.
Life isn't the loving, it's the dishes and the orthodontist and the shoe repairman and ground round instead of roast beef and I'll tell you something else, it isn't going to bed with a man that proves your in love with him, it's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful, everyday world with him that counts.~
Well I couldn't agree with Mr. Beardsley more!